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20 Minute Get to Know You Activities

Sometimes, you see someone, and yous just click. You experience like you've been besties your entire life and honestly can't believe there was a time when you didn't even know they existed. So, there's those other relationships that accept a little more work—i.e., how it feels similar pulling teeth to learn anything about your brother-in-law. While you lot might never be BFFs with your BIL, in that location is a fox yous tin can use to get him to open up a footling more.

Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Union from Adept to Great , says getting to know someone starts with the "breadth questions"—think: impersonal only important biographical info well-nigh a person's family, their career, and if they're single or married, for example. (Although if you're request these q's of your BIL... you lot should probably definitely know the answer to that last one.)

Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that you want to ask open-concluded questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that tin exist answered with a uncomplicated "yep" or "no."

Afterwards all, if you really want to go to know someone beyond the surface level, you've got to dig deeper. "Topics that get at the other person's inner world—their thoughts, goals, and dreams—will strengthen and increase bonding between two people," Orbuch notes. "Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure."

Btw, that'southward a 2-mode street, adds Williams. "When initially meeting someone, it is of import to be inviting and warm so that the other person can initially feel comfortable talking with you."

On that notation, Williams suggests taking a careful approach in your questions, as you don't want the other person to experience similar you're violating their privacy. Questions you should probably steer clear of early on: "Democrat or Republican?" "Do y'all own or rent?" and "What is your faith or spiritual conventionalities?".

There are other means to featherbed small talk and learn more than in-depth info well-nigh the other person, says Williams. "Y'all can get the answers [you're looking for] by sometimes answering those questions yourself while sharing near you. An example would look like: 'I just moved to Georgia concluding yr and found a beautiful community that I vicious in love with and purchased a home. What about you, do you lot love where y'all live?'"

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With a little patience, you'll get manner closer with the person you lot're just getting to know in no time. Here are 200 not-boring questions to get yous started:


"Request someone about their preferences helps you to understand who they are as a person," says Rebecca Hendrix, a therapist in New York. The important thing hither is to become deeper past asking follow-up questions. For example, "If you lot find out they like dogs, have information technology a bit deeper by asking them what they similar most well-nigh their dog or their favorite brood," Hendrix explains.

"Commonalities often open the door for farther conversation and, once that door is open up, you can first a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not give close-concluded answers," Williams adds.

Some other ideas:

1. What's your favorite way to spend a day off?

2. What blazon of music are you into?

3. What was the best vacation you always took and why?

4. Where'southward the next place on your travel bucket list and why?

5. What are your hobbies, and how did yous become into them?

vi. What was your favorite age growing upwards?

7. What was the last thing y'all read?

eight. Would you say y'all're more of an extrovert or an introvert?

9. What's your favorite ice cream topping?

10. What was the last Idiot box testify you binge-watched?

xi. Are you into podcasts or exercise you just mind to music?

12. Exercise you lot have a favorite holiday? Why or why non?

13. If you could only swallow one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

fourteen. Do you similar going to the movies or prefer watching at dwelling house?

15. What's your favorite sleeping position?

16. What's your go-to guilty pleasure?

what's your goto guilty pleasure

17. In the summer, would yous rather go to the beach or become camping?

eighteen. What's your favorite quote from a Television receiver show/movie/book?

19. How old were yous when you had your first celebrity beat, and who was it?

20. What'south one affair that can instantly brand your twenty-four hour period amend?

21. Practise you have whatsoever pet peeves?

22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

23. What song always gets yous out on the trip the light fantastic floor?

24. When you lot were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not?

25. What activity instantly calms yous?

26. Ideally, how would you spend your birthday?

27. What do you do on your commute to/from piece of work?

28. Are yous a fan of musicals—why or why non?

29. What'south your favorite season and why?

xxx. What'southward the best joke you've always heard?

Questions can help deepen any human relationship, just you should never accept to inquire these ones if you're in a salubrious human relationship:

31. What'south the phone app you apply near?

32. Would you rather cook or society in?

33. Take your ever disliked something and then changed your mind?

34. What'south your favorite board game?

35. How practise you take your coffee?

36 What'south your well-nigh prized possession and why?

37. Is in that location whatsoever product that you couldn't live without?

38. Practice you sleep with a superlative sheet? Why or why not?

39. If yous could have any exotic fauna as a pet, which would it exist?

40. What would be the first thing yous'd do if you won the lottery?

41. What's your favorite way to unwind?

42. How exercise you enjoy spending your lone fourth dimension?

43. What's the best concert you've ever been to?

44. Do you lot have a favorite blazon of exercise?

do you have a favorite type of exercise

45. What causes are you passionate about?

46. What's something you're excited about right now?

47. What's your favorite content genre (horror, sci-fi, rom-com, etc.)?

48. What's an essential office of your daily routine?

49. What's the best gift you've always received?

50. What's the worst gift you've ever received, and what did you do about information technology?


No matter how a person feels about his or her job, the fact is, tons of people spend a lot of time and free energy at work. To assist you get to know someone better, "facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they feel near their career," Hendrix says.

Just prepare yourself to return that openness when they inquire the same of you and your work life. "Initial conversations set up the tone for if the person wants to proceed to become to know y'all, so be ready to respond some questions also," Williams says.

Try out these convo-starters:

51. If you could choose your ain work schedule, would yous?

52. Is there one chore you lot'd never ever do?

53. What's the starting time affair yous exercise after getting dwelling house from work?

54. Who or what inspires yous in your career?

55. How practise you arroyo taking time off from work?

56. What's something an outsider wouldn't know about your industry?

57. Do y'all have a morning routine at work? If and then, what it'south like?

58. What's your commute to work like?

59. Are y'all able to work from home, and if so, do you savor it?

60. Do you get along with all your coworkers?

61. What's your favorite thing about your current job?

62. What annoys you nigh?

63. What's the career highlight you lot're almost proud of?

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64. Practise you think you'll stay in your electric current gig awhile? Why or why non?

65. What type of role exercise yous want to have on later on this i?

66. Are you more of a "work to live" or a "live to work" type of person?

67. Does your chore make you feel happy and fulfilled? Why or why not?

68. How would your 10-yr-onetime self react to what you do now?

69. What do you remember most nigh your first chore?

seventy. How one-time were you when you lot started working?

71. What's the worst job you lot've always had?

72. What originally got yous interested in your electric current field of work?

73. Have you ever had a side hustle or considered having one?

74. What'southward your favorite part of the workday?

75. What's the best career decision you've ever made?

76. What's the worst career conclusion you've ever made?

77. Do yous consider yourself good at networking?

78. What career communication would yous give to your younger cocky?

79. Do you believe in having a "five-year plan"?

do you believe in having a five year plan

eighty. How practise you separate your work life from your dwelling life?

81. When volition you know y'all've "fabricated it"?

82. Are y'all looking forward to retiring, or practise you programme to work equally long as possible?

83. Accept you e'er had "imposter syndrome"?

84. What exercise you recall about workaholics?

85. What qualities exercise you lot look for in a boss?

86. Exercise you have a professional person mentor? If not, practice you desire one?

87. What energizes y'all almost your career?

88. Are you into afterwards-work happy hours?

89. How do yous motivate yourself in your career?

90. What's the best career communication you've ever heard?

91. What'south the worst career advice you've ever received?

92. When you started your current job, what about surprised you?

93. How practice you pick yourself support afterwards making a error at work?

94. How do you deal with work stress?

95. Practise yous take a work bestie?

do you have a work bestie

96. What'south 1 work-related affair you want to reach in the side by side year?

97. Who has had the biggest impact on your career choice?

98. What does your family remember of your career?

99. What's the best matter you've learned in your current position?

100. If y'all could do it all over once again, would yous pursue the same career? Why or why not?


A great way to get to know someone on a more personal level? Learn well-nigh the people they beloved. "Asking questions nearly close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection and an feel of being seen by one another," Hendrix explains. Attempt:

101. How much fourth dimension do you spend with your family?

102. Who do you lot most similar spending time with and why?

103. Which family member makes the best nutrient?

104. How has your opinion of your family unit changed over the years?

105. If you're shut with your family unit, what's the hardest part about spending time away from them?

106. Do you wish you had a bigger family, or are you happy with its electric current size?

107. Which family unit member has had the greatest impact on you?

108. What does your family'southward last name mean? (Look it upwards if you don't know!)

109. Who's the best souvenir-giver in your family?

110. What'due south your favorite story most your grandparents?

111. Have you always mapped out your family unit tree?

have you ever mapped out your family tree

112. Were you close with your family growing up?

113. How do yous define your family at present?

114. What traits are most of import to you in your family members?

115. Who in your family makes you lot feel the safest?

116. Do you desire a family of your own?

117. Accept you lot ever been to a family reunion?

118. If yous could change your relationship with a family unit member, would you? If so, with whom?

119. What was it like growing upwardly as the youngest/oldest/middle/only child?

120. Does your family unit ever take trips together?

121. What'southward your favorite family retention?

122. What Television family unit most reminds you lot of your own?

123. Do you e'er wish you were raised differently?

124. What'southward the best piece of advice a family fellow member has given you?

125. Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why?

126. Did you ever hide anything from or prevarication to your parents?

127. If you had a family business organisation, what would information technology exist?

128. Do you and your family unit have any nicknames for each other?

129. What's your favorite way to spend fourth dimension with your family?

130. How do you show your family you lot love them?

131. What's your favorite family unit tradition?

what's your favorite family tradition

132. What's the nigh important vacation you spend with your family unit and why?

133. Who in your family would you draw as a "character"?

134. How practice you feel about family unit events?

135. What's something your family would be surprised to learn about you?

136. Which family unit member exercise you confide in most?

137. How do you lot deal with arguments between family unit members?

138. If you have children, how practice you want to heighten them?

139. What's more important: family unit or friends?

questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection

140. Do you take whatsoever friends yous would consider family unit?

141. Has your family ever pressured you to act a certain way?

142. Did you ever become to meet your smashing-grandparents?

143. What personality traits do you share with your relatives?

144. What physical traits do y'all share with your relatives?

145. What stories did your family unit members tell you growing upward?

146. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) meet?

147. What makes y'all proud of your family?

148. Who'southward the newest member of your family?

149. What can always bring your family together?


"In learning about someone'south values, you are learning about their owner's manual," Hendrix explains. Even seemingly mundane questions can get at a person's values—like what'southward motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they look for in an S.O.

"By learning well-nigh someone'due south life philosophy, you're able to get at their true essence, how they alive their life, and what drives their actions," Orbuch adds.

That said, you can't just enquire, "What are your values?". What you can inquire:

150. What practice you lot call back makes someone a "good person"?

151. Do you believe in dearest at outset sight?

152. How practice you show kindness to others?

how do you show kindness to others

153. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?

154. What do you look for in a friendship?

155. How do your daily priorities reflect your overall values in life?

156. Do you believe fourth dimension you enjoy wasting is non wasted time?

157. What life lessons have you had to learn the hard fashion?

158. Practise you believe what is meant for you lot volition never miss you lot?

159. Have yous ever experienced true honey, and how did y'all know?

160. What'due south a relationship deal billow for y'all?

161. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you want?

162. Do you volunteer at all?

163. What makes yous feel at peace?

164. What are y'all most proud of in the last year?

165. What makes you experience most accomplished?

166. Who exercise you adore most in the world?

167. Would yous rather brand more than money doing a job you detest or less doing one you honey?

168. Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?

169. What's the commencement affair yous look for in a partner and/or friend?

170. How has your perspective on the globe changed over time?

171. Exercise you live by any piece of communication or motto?

172. How tin can someone earn your trust?

173. How can someone lose your trust?

174. Would yous rather someone exist honest and injure your feelings or lie to protect them?

175. If you could snap your fingers and instantly make the world better, what would you practice?

176. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why non?

177. Have yous ever lost a friend? If so, what happened?

178. If you could merely teach one thing to your (future) child, what would information technology be?

179. What's the scariest thing you've ever done, and why did yous practice information technology?

180. Do you believe in second chances?

181. Where do y'all get your news?

182. What is your biggest irrational fright?

183. Are you active on social media, or exercise you prefer to exist more private?

184. What is your definition of success?

what is your definition of success

185. Are you an organ donor, and how did you come to that decision?

186. Do y'all believe y'all should do i affair a day that scares you?

187. What, if anything, do y'all call back happens after decease?

189. What line should someone never cross with y'all?

190. How do you ascertain beauty?

191. Exercise y'all believe in life on other planets?

192. How do you interact with someone who disagrees with yous?


"These questions go at what the person is motivated past," says Orbuch. "What gives them the strength to wake up every day and get going? What do they dream and think most in their solar day?" When you acquire about someone's dreams, you lot share something more intimate. Jumpstart a deep conversation by asking this:

193. Do you think our dreams have hidden meanings?

194. When yous desire to give up, what keeps you going?

195. Practise you live by whatsoever words of wisdom?

196. What's the beginning stride you take in trying to achieve a new goal?

197. How do you plough a "no" into a "yeah"?

198. What exercise you do to overcome a personal setback?

199. Is it piece of cake for you lot to accept help in achieving your dreams?

200. If yous could do anything, besides what you're doing at present, what would you do?

201. What do yous regret not doing in the last year?

202. What's on your bucket listing?

whats on your bucket list

203. If y'all had unlimited money to kickoff your own business, what would it be?

204. If you found out today was your terminal day on Earth, what would you lot practise?

205. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would information technology be?

206. If you could relive one moment in your life, which would it be?

207. If yous had the opportunity to be immortal, would yous take it?

208. Which famous person in history would you lot desire to spend the twenty-four hours with?

209. If you lot could time travel, when and where would yous get?

210. Practise you think you'll likely accomplish all your dreams?

211. If yous could magically become famous, would you want to?

212. A genie gives y'all three wishes—what are they?

a genie gives you 3 wishes what are they

Sometimes the oddball questions allow y'all to larn the most interesting things about a person. "Unusual questions permit you lot to see the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give yous personal information about what makes them tick," Orbuch says. "These questions as well typically go the other person to think exterior box and really ponder something."

But you all the same want to continue things PG, says Williams. "Be conscientious with asking questions of a sexual nature too early," she advises. Same goes for the anarchistic-for-a-reason q's, a.k.a. anything related to another person's finances, but specially questions about child support, debt, and credit score.

Enquire these ~anarchistic~ questions, and you'll definitely become some interesting (in a good style!) answers:

213. Do you lot believe in ghosts—why or why not? (Bonus question: If so, are you lot afraid of ghosts?)

214. Do yous have any special skills?

215. Are you lot double-jointed?

216. What's your game plan in a zombie apocalypse?

217. Can yous write in cursive?

218. If you could live in a moving-picture show, which one would it exist and why?

219. What's your "dance like nobody's watching" song?

220. Do you sing in the shower?

221. Are you skillful at solving puzzles?

222. How many hours do you get to the airport before a flight?

223. Tin can you say your ABCs backwards?

can you say your abcs backwards

224. If you see a pool on the ground, do you walk around it or over it?

225. If you could have a super power, what would it be?

226. If you could become back to anytime in history, where would you go?

227. If you came back in your next life every bit an beast, what creature would you exist?

228. If you lot got to proper noun a new country, how would y'all decide what to call it?

229. What would be the title of your memoir?

230. Practice you lot hit the snooze button or wake up immediately?

231. What'south the first matter you do in the morning?

232. What'due south the last thing you exercise at night?

233. Do yous believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgement)?

234. Do you think iced java should only be consumed in the summer or all year circular?

235. Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?

236. What's your idea of a perfect date (yes, of the calendar year)?

237. What'due south the most unusual place yous've fallen asleep?

what's the most unusual place you've fallen asleep

238. At a party, where tin can someone find you?

239. Do y'all wash your legs in the shower?

240. Who would play y'all in the motion picture of your life?

241. When making a Atomic number 82&J sandwich, do you put on the peanut butter or jelly first?

242. Do y'all take any allergies?

243. Exercise y'all trust your own memory? Why or why non?

244. Which fictional graphic symbol do yous chronicle to most?

245. What, if anything, would make you lot walk out in the center of a picture?

246. When was the final fourth dimension you cried and why?

247. What'southward your nigh controversial opinion about something mundane?

248. Do yous "stan" any celebrities?

249. What's your go-to midnight snack?

250. What was your all-fourth dimension favorite Halloween costume?

251. What's the weirdest thing y'all do when you're lonely?

252. Exercise yous accept any recurring dreams?

253. What'southward the silliest argument you've ever been in?

254. What's the worst argument you've e'er been in?

255. What's your opinion on modern art?

anytime you reveal personal information to someone else, it increases intimacy between you and the other person

256. What's the well-nigh ridiculous outfit yous've ever worn?

257. If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would y'all pick?

258. Would you rather take your dishes or dress be magically clean?

259. What'southward your favorite story virtually yourself?

260. If you could change anything most yourself, would yous? If so, what and why?

"Anytime y'all reveal personal information to someone else, it increases intimacy between yous and the other person," says Orbuch. Then permit down your guard, and don't be agape to ask (and answer!) these deep questions.

Acquaintance Lifestyle editor Jasmine Gomez is the associate lifestyle editor at Women's Health and covers health, fettle, sexual practice, civilization and cool products.

Lindsay Geller is the Love & Life Editor at Women'south Health, specializing in entertainment news and civilisation coverage.

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Source: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a22500573/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/